the art of shoveling snow

This is my 10th winter in the Midwest, a place I never thought I would live, and a place where snow is all too frequent in the winter time.  This is also my 2nd winter in my house, which means that I am responsible for snow removal/snow relocation on my property.  I’ve been thinking about different methods for how I can accomplish having a safe property with minimal work.  Here are my tips.

  1. Simply do nothing.  The effect of this is that your house becomes undesirable for other people due to hazardous conditions.  This is good if you are concerned about break-ins because, let’s face it, a person breaking into your house won’t sue you if they slip and fall while on your property.  And, you are not likely to sue yourself if you slip and fall.  The downside, of course, is that if the current winter is a very “heavy” one, you’ll be wading through snow to get out of your house.
  2. Hire someone.  This is best if you want to throw your money away, as people who do this for a living can charge exuberant prices because they know you are lazy and they can get away with it.
  3. Befriend a neighbor who has a snow blower or a teenager who needs a workout.  The plus side is that it won’t cost you $$, but it may cost you in other ways, like having to constantly bake things for them or it may cost you your time if they don’t take care of your property in a timely manner, in which case your boss will be very irate with you all winter.
  4. Have your local college hockey team drive their Zamboni over to “smooth out” your driveway.  It may be a little slippery, but hey, you’ll have your own person ice rink.
  5. Buy a snow blower (along with it’s “how-to” manual, ’cause it’s important).  The key thing to owning a snow blower is knowing how it works.  They are not intuitive, but, once you learn they are good little machines.  Also, it saves you from having to actually, well, shovel.
  6. If none of the first 5 methods are feasible, pull out your shovel.  Only do what you need to do in order to move about your property safely.



One thought on “the art of shoveling snow

  1. Our Tuesday morning here in Westminster, MD involved chipping through the 1/2 inch layer of ice enclosing the car to get in and get to work. Maryland specializes in the “wintry mix” storm, usually a lovely sedimentary combination of ice and snow in varying proportions. My favorite.

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