I believe that, for the most part, my parents would describe me a independent to the point of doing things full force, with little or no forethought. This is not entirely true: I always stop to think about things before I do them, I’ve just probably never mentioned it to anyone while I was in the thought process. My surrogate mother, Terry, has often said that I am brave and tend to do things that would scare her (not in a bad – BOO – kind of way, but scary in that it might seem difficult or challenging and therefore a little scary as to the unknown factor). The truth is I feel like I often think too much about things.
So this whole house hunting process is actully petrifying to me. I’m not scared for my safety as much as I’m scared that I’m not responsible enough to have a home: can I really maintain it? What if I mess it up? What if something breaks? What then? I can’t really call my Dad because he lives 700 miles away.
Well, I do think that I’ve dealt with most of those issues and have come to terms with them as much as I can, but now a new thought has creeped into my brain and I am almost sorry that it has. I mentioned to a co-worker yesterday about the house in North Waukegan and I’m interested in and, well, let’s just say that her response was far less than positive. Now, I’m well aware of the good and bad parts of Waukegan – I’ve lived here for 6 years now. And I realize that this neighborhood is going through a change – from something fairly bad to something fairly decent. It is an older neighborhood (homes are typically over 80 years old) and it has met with its fair share of bad times. But here’s the thing: I firmly believe that Waukegan (in general) is undergoing a transformation of improvement and that this transformation will only improve this neighborhood as Waukegan attracts better businesses and renovation projects. Which can mean that in the future my house could be worth more than what I would pay for it. But that is the gamble that I would have to take.
So as I’ve pondered my well-intentioned-co-worker’s comments, I’ve started to have doubts. In expressing those doubts today on Facebook, I discovered that a faculty member lives about a block and a half from this house – and he loves living there. So he is going to take me on a little tour on Monday and talk to me about his experience of the last 4 years. I hate having doubts and it is very unlike me to make a close decision (I think I was about 85% sure that I was going to make an offer on this house) and then change my mind. I guess that slowing down to think of every single possible aspect of owning a home is a good thing. I just hope that I don’t over think it.